


Here For You

by SeeMaree



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-11 08:44:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3321137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeeMaree/pseuds/SeeMaree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peeta promises himself that if he survives his final reaping he's going to talk to Katniss, and he does.  It doesn't happen exactly how he planned though.<br/>Sort of an AU based on Extraneous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It’s in the melee that follows the seventy sixth reaping that Peeta Mellark finally talks to Katniss Everdeen. Ignoring the groups of people congratulating each other on successfully avoiding the reapers scythe she stands still and alone, staring at the doors to the justice building. All the things he planned to say today leave his head when he sees the look on her face. 

“Have you ever been in to say goodbye before?” he asks instead. She glances at him, and then her eyes return to that door.

“No. Have you?” He nods somberly.

“Do you remember Davy Macbain, when we were sixteen?” her head drops a little. Of course she remembers. He sighs. “I’ll come with you if you want.” And in this strange alternate bubble, where two people who have never really spoken before can act like friends, she nods and slips her hand into his.

His brother comes up behind them as they reach the door. Any other time it would be to tease and embarrass him about walking across the square holding Katniss’ hand. But not today.

“Hey, are you guys, are you going to say goodbye to her? Can I come?” he asks nervously. Katniss looks at Peeta questioningly.

“He has a crush on her, has for a while” Peeta explains. Katniss frowns and turns to Tomas.

“Why?” When Peeta’s brother looks blank she continues. “Why do you like her?” Tomas blushes but he answers.

“She’s sweet and kind, and she doesn’t act like she’s better than anyone even though she’s the richest kid in Twelve. And she’s really pretty.” Katniss glares at him for a moment and he visibly cringes.

“Okay.” She finally decrees. “You shouldn’t go in with us though. Go alone and tell her. It might give her something to fight for.” Tomas just nods, wide eyed.

The line to visit Madge is pathetically short. The only ones present are her father, the elderly couple who work at her house and now the three of them. They send her father in first. When he walks out a few minutes later he moves like an old man, even though he can’t be more than forty five. His eyes glisten as he sees the three of them in line.

“Katniss, she’ll be glad to see you. You’ve been a true friend to her.” Katniss meets his eyes seriously.

“Don’t write her off yet. She has more of a chance than anyone realizes. She can come home.” The Mayor’s expression lightens slightly.

“I know, and know I have you to thank for that. I thought about putting a stop to it you know, but now… thank you.” He turns to Peeta and Tomas. “Ah, Mellark boys. It’s good to see you both here too.” Clearly he knows that they’re not her friends.

Surprisingly Tomas manages to step up.

“Madge is a good person. We just want her to know that we want her to come home.” The mayor looks teary eyed again and briskly pats them both on the shoulder as he hurries away.

The peacekeeper on the door isn’t local. She looks bored while the three of them dither about who goes first, before Katniss pushes Tomas through the door.

They wait in silence, and in the absence of other stimuli Peeta becomes intensely aware of Katniss’ hand around his. It’s wrong to be thinking about this now. He’s about to say goodbye to a girl who will most likely be dead in less than a week, but she’s got his hand in both of hers now, and she’s playing with his fingers. It seems mindless, as if she just needs to do something with her hands, but Oh. He wills his body to behave and focus on what she’s saying.

“… think he’ll really do it?” she’s asking. What? Oh, Tomas.

“I think so. He really likes her. Why is it so important anyway? Surely she’s got plenty of guys chasing her.” Katniss shakes her head. Now she’s running her thumb across his palm. Pay attention!

“No one that showed up here. No one that sees her as more than a pretty face with money.” Peeta knows how that feels. If just one of the girls that flirted with him showed some desire to actually know him he probably would have forgotten Katniss long ago.

Tomas comes out looking dazed.

“How did it go?” Peeta asks. Tomas doesn’t reply, but the tears in his eyes start to overflow. He leaves abruptly, and Peeta and Katniss exchange a look. Peeta will get the full story out of him later.

He’s about to offer to wait while she has a private goodbye but Katniss yanks him into the room behind her.

Madge looks so fragile. As the Mayor’s daughter she’s always had enough to eat, but she’s small and slim, with big innocent eyes. She looks like a dead girl. When she sees Katniss tears shimmer in her eyes. Katniss is all business.

“Don’t cry, it’ll make you look weak.” She snaps. Madge looks startled. “Don’t give up. You can win this. You can fool them, confuse them. You know how to kill, they won’t expect that. Be strong.” Madge straightens and a new look comes into her eyes. She glances at Peeta as if noticing him for the first time. He tries to smile for her. It’s more of a grimace.

“Good luck Madge” is all he can manage. It must be enough because she turns back to Katniss who briskly dispenses more instruction. By the time the peacekeeper calls time she looks different. Fierce.

“I’ll see you when you get home.” Katniss calls as they are pushed out the door.

She keeps it together until they reach her house. She looks at Peeta in confusion, as if she’s finally realized the oddity of the situation.

“Why are you here?” He shrugs awkwardly. Why is he? He should be out celebrating with the rest of the age outs, not following Katniss around like her puppy.

“Because I want to be here for you?” She looks blank for a moment, and then she’s pressed against him sobbing into his chest. He hesitates, and then leads her to an old chair bench on her porch. She burrows into him and he doesn’t know what to do except hold her. He doesn’t have much experience with this. Her sister pops her head out the door, sees him, and goes back in. He must be doing okay then.

The crying doesn’t last long. Even in grief Katniss is controlled. But she keeps her face hidden against him for a while. He feels her chest expand as she sighs. She finally looks up at him. Her face is blotchy and her eyes are anguished.

“Peeta Mellark” she says “I don’t know why you’re here, or how I’ll ever repay you, but thank you.” Her gratitude, for something so easy for him to give twists his heart.

“I’ll be here as long as you need me” he tells her. She sighs again, and lays her head back against his chest.

“Okay.”


	2. Misunderstandings

Peeta doesn't leave until the sun is slipping down below the mountains. Katniss feels hollowed out emotionally, but still, a strange kind of peace has settled over her. When she steps inside it's to find Prim lying in wait, bursting with questions. Her mother takes one look, sends Prim away, and orders Katniss to bed. It's odd to be mothered by her and Katniss usually doesn't allow it, but today, today she's making a lot of exceptions. 

She accepts the tea and toast her mother prepares, but it sits on the dresser growing cold, while Katniss stares at the ceiling. Madge will fight, she will live or die, and it's all beyond Katniss' control. Either way Peeta will be there to hold her. Peeta. How could she act that way with him? She doesn't even know him, yet she held his hand, cried against his chest, let him rub his fingers over her back. She should be embarrassed, but somehow all she can think about is how safe he felt. And he's not a stranger, not really. Not when he once gave her everything and asked nothing in return. She knows that he watches her. She feels an itchy, hot feeling any time he's close by. She doesn't like to acknowledge it, but really, It's been happening for some time.

Lost drifting, half asleep, she doesn't fully register the racket in the next room. It's something she's used to. When a family brings in a sick or injured person they don't worry about keeping their voices down. So she ignores the raised voices until her door slams open. Gale. Katniss shoots up in bed in alarm. Is one of his siblings sick? 

"Gale. What's going on?" 

"I think I should be the one asking you that," he sneers. Katniss' tired brain stutters, and she stares at him in confusion. "This is how you treat me? Leave me sitting out there at the rock, waiting for hours, and when I give up and come home I find out from my friends what's really going on. You've been running around with a Merchant behind my back."

She feels bad because she completely forgot about him. It was cruel, considering what had happened this morning. "Gale, I'm sorry, but with everything that happened, I got distracted." He laughs, but it's cold.

"I bet you did. Who needs old Gale when you've got your townie, eh?" Katniss is starting to get angry. Madge, who has been putting food on his table for a while now, was reaped, will almost certainly die in the arena, and he's still putting her down? 

"I guess you'll find out when you suddenly have a lot less to eat." She snaps back.

"What, you think you can stop hunting now?" he rolls his eyes. "You have a lot to learn about merchants." Why would she stop hunting? If anything she's going to have to double up if she possibly hopes to keep them all fed. Then she gets it. She thought he was playing dumb about Madge, to salvage his pride, but he really is that dumb.

"You idiot. Do you really think I've been able to bring in as much food as we used to all by myself? Madge has been feeding your family, she's a pretty good shot and even though she's no use with snares, she makes it up with how good she is at finding plants. Don't tell me you haven't noticed all the greens." Gale freezes, his eyes bulging. 

"You took the Mayor's Daughter to the woods? Are you crazy? You can't trust her!" He's being ridiculous now. If the Mayor wanted them arrested he would have done it years ago, the first time two raggedy children showed up at his back door, selling things that could only have come from outside the fence.

"In case you missed it, that Mayor's Daughter was reaped today, and I am glad I took her out. She stands a chance of surviving with the things I taught her." Another thing occurs to her, "and as my friend I would have thought you'd notice that my friend was reaped, and that I might need a bit of support."

"Oh I doubt you needed me, what, with your townie boyfriend." Peeta. He's talking about Peeta. And now this all makes sense. "You told me you'd give me an answer after the reaping, I guess I thought you'd actually talk to me, instead of just letting me find out you've been leading me on all this time."

That's not quite how Katniss remembers it going. This morning, when she and Gale had met outside the fence to hunt, he had kissed her, asked her to marry him. It came entirely unexpected to Katniss, so she had told him that she needed to get home, and that they would talk about it later, after the reaping. Sure Gale's flirted with her occasionally, but she never responded, and he would always let it drop. He gave no impression that he was pining away for her, what with his taking a different girl to the slag heap every week. Or did he imagine she was oblivious to that? In fact it strikes Katniss as incredibly unfair to characterize her as the one leading him on. To suggest that she was cheating on their nonexistent relationship, when she had never even been kissed before this morning.

"I have every right to date whoever I want, just like you've been for the last, how many years?" Instead of looking chastened, his gaze hardens. "We have no agreement, we never did, and a surprise proposal doesn't change that."

"So that's how it is then? Fine. I don't need this anyway." He slams out as dramatically as he entered, leaving an echoing silence in his wake. Katniss doesn't think she wanted to marry him, she hasn't had the chance to think about how she feels, and so much has happened today, she can't focus on anything. But she aches for him. Is this the end of their friendship? Six years of companionship burned away in a stupid argument about her town friends?

Prim peeps her head into the room. She must have heard all of that. The walls in seam houses are thin. She pouts at Katniss.

"How long have you been seeing Peeta Mellark, and why didn't you tell me, your own sister! I understand keeping it secret, but not from me! I bet you told Madge, didn't you?" Katniss holds up her hands to stem the verbal onslaught, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on Katniss, it's out now, everyone saw you holding hands in the square, which I thought was so sweet, how he couldn't help going and comforting you. And you were just sitting in his lap on the porch. You think no one saw that? And even if after all that I wasn't clear, I did just hear what you said to Gale."

"I wasn't sitting in his lap," Katniss protests weakly, not exactly. 

This is bad. It's not just Gale in a jealous fit. People think that she and Peeta are together, and thinking back to what she said to Gale, she may have sort of confirmed it. Considering the size of the community, and the fact that he's town to her seam, anyone who didn't directly see them together will have heard an exaggerated version by tomorrow morning. What must Peeta be thinking? He put himself out to help her, and now he's being gossiped through the whole district. Oh no. Another thought strikes her. What if he has a girl? This could ruin it for him. She ignores the twinge of jealousy at the thought of Peeta with his arms around someone else.

She gets up, glad she never changed for bed, and puts on her shoes. 

"Where are you going?" Prim asks. 

"I remembered something I need to do." Katniss says. She needs to talk to Peeta, right now.

The bakery is dark by the time she gets there, bakers hours she assumes. But the windows of the apartment above are all open. Katniss only hesitates for a moment before she's scaling the apple tree and peering in. The second window she peeps through shows her two small beds crammed against the walls, so she slips over the sill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said this was not an ongoing story, or that at least I wouldn't be continuing any time soon, but I had too many ideas to about where this would go to let it lie.  
> It is my personal belief that in this situation Gale would have happily dated every willing female in the district with the plan of marrying Katniss eventually, secure in the knowledge that she would just be waiting around whenever he was ready. Boy did he get a surprise. I love Gale drama, so I hope you guys do too.


	3. Truth

Reaping day or not, dough has to be mixed, kneaded, and left to rise. Peeta, his brother, and father go through the motions silently. They never talk much, but usually there is some banter between him and Tomas. Their father radiates silent disapproval, gossip about Peeta and Katniss having reached the bakery before he did. His mother left, refusing to even acknowledge him. If she thinks the silent treatment is a punishment, she is wrong. It's far superior to the tongue lashing he had been expecting. Neither one bothered to ask what was true, to them it doesn't matter, the gossip may as well be fact. Peeta knows Tomas' silence isn't directed at him, but he's not providing much support. Which is an unfair thought.

Peeta thinks about the hesitant plans he had made with his brother. It had felt, convenient, that the girls they liked were best friends. Convenient. Not so much now when Peeta had to choose between comforting Katniss and being there for his brother. Now he feels guilty for forgetting Tomas might have needed him.

His father leaves as soon as he possibly can, leaving his sons to finish cleaning up.

"At least now they'll stop pestering us," Tomas says, breaking the silence.

"What?"

"About getting a girl. I think you've effectively refocused their attention."

Peeta's parents have been working themselves into a fit over their sons' single status for a while now. While no one can get married before their last reaping, most people Peeta's age already have an agreement, and almost everyone Tomas' age are already married, or will be within the next month or two. It's not that Peeta doesn't understand their fears; he knows that waiting so long has put him at risk for never marrying at all. He decided a long time ago that he would rather die single than have a marriage like his parents.

His parents are probably desperately hoping for the die alone scenario now, in their minds it's much better than a seam girl. Peeta and Tomas would be snickering about it, if it was a laughing kind of day.

"You going to tell me what happened with Madge?" he asks instead. Tomas stops and rubs his eyes.

"No."

"What? Come on. Did you at least tell her you like her?" Tomas looks at him.

"She already knew that. I just don't feel like giving details. It was hard saying goodbye to her, but I'm glad I went." Peeta is confused. How could Madge have known how his brother felt? Tomas rolls his eyes when he sees Peeta's expression. "Don't look so surprised. I know it's not how you do things, but most people, when they're attracted to someone, they do this thing, it's called flirting? It's a clever way to let the other person know you're interested. Even someone like me can usually manage. You should try it. Although, from what I hear, you've skipped that bit and jumped straight to inappropriate displays of affection." Peeta grimaces.

"What, exactly, are they saying?"

"Only that you're not so secretly engaged, and that you spent the afternoon making out with her on her front porch. Oh and Gale Hawthorne may or may not kill you." Gale Hawthorne. Peeta had completely forgotten about him. Which is amazing considering how much he's worried over the nature of his relationship with Katniss. "I know the truth, and I'm finding it difficult to believe that you weren't together before today. She is never with anyone, and then suddenly she's walking around town holding your hand, and sitting in your lap. Are you sure you haven't been sneaking around with her?" Peeta flips him with a spatula.

"Don't you think I would've told you? And she was not sitting in my lap. We were not making out. She was crying. It wasn't sexy." And was Gale going around making threats or something? The jerk. "And Gale Hawthorne can take a hike. If he was so concerned, where was he today? If she's with him, which I seriously doubt, he's a terrible boyfriend."

"Okay, okay. It's still weird that she latched onto you like that." Peeta nods slowly, thinking it through.

"Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. She seemed a bit confused about it herself. But, she needed me, and, how could I say no?" Tomas turns back to scraping down the kneading trough and sighs.

"You know you can't let that keep happening, right? It's creepy."

"What, no, why?" Peeta was trying to be nice, to help her, that's the opposite of creepy.

"Come on, as much as you claim getting cried on wasn't sexy, at some point today you must have found it a bit exciting." Peeta can feel himself turning red. "So. You tell me why it isn't creepy that you're using how upset she is as an opportunity to put your hands all over her." He wasn't 'using it as an opportunity'... Okay fine. Peeta really hates it when his brother makes him think about stuff, and is right. But, intention has to count, right?

"I didn't expect that, or plan on it. She initiated everything!" Tomas shrugs.

"So you get a pass, this time. If you let it happen again, without even telling her what you actually want, I'd consider that pretty creepy, particularly with all the gossip." Peeta wonders if Tomas is trying to deflect attention so he doesn't keep asking about what exactly happened in that room at the justice building. But the truth is Peeta can absolutely see if Katniss keeps acting the way she did today, which seems likely, because it's not like things get easier to deal with after reaping, that the social pressures could get to the point where they would have to get married. She's pretty upset, so she may not think it all the way through, if he doesn't at least warn her, he'd be kind of tricking her into marrying him. And Tomas is right. That is creepy. And horrible really.

"Fine, I'll talk to her."

They eat and get ready for bed in almost silence, each too busy with their own thoughts to focus on the other. It's only when they lay in their beds, heat that never seems to stop radiating from the ovens downstairs forcing them to leave all the windows open in a hope of catching some sort of breeze, that Tomas brings up Madge again. "She's going to die, isn't she?" he says.

Peeta doesn't know what to say. Is it better to hold out hope, or is that prolonging the pain? A thump has them both shooting upright.

"Am I usually here in your fantasies?" Tomas asks as they watch Katniss pull herself through the window, his sense of humor as inappropriate as ever. Katniss ignores him, coming to sit on Peeta's bed.

"Do you know what they're saying? I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that, I don't know what I was thinking, I don't want to ruin your life, I can talk to your girl, explain everything, and don't listen to Gale, he's crazy, or my sister, she's not, but she doesn't understand, and, and,"

"Did you just climb in the window?" Peeta cuts in, still trying to comprehend what's going on.

"Yes, of course. I had to talk to you, I'm sorry if I woke you, but I just heard what they're saying, and I needed to tell you."

"Some of us have the first shift, so if you can take your very dramatic love life somewhere else?" Tomas asks. Peeta glares at him, which is lost in the dark room. He knows exactly what his brother is telling him, as if he needs reminding.

"Fine," he snaps, getting out of bed and fumbling around on the floor for a shirt. He leads Katniss out to the main room, lighting a lamp and sitting down on the saggy couch. She glances around nervously.

"What if we wake your parents?"

"Oh, they don't live here anymore. It's just me and Tomas." He wonders if anyone saw her climbing in their window. The gossip would go into overdrive. Mrs Cartwright next door has been sure for months that Peeta and Tomas are using their freedom to corrupt young women, ignoring that neither of them are even dating anyone. Of course she'll now be sure that he's been sneaking Katniss in all along. The whole line of thought frustrating. No matter what, the gossips win.

Katniss sits down at the other end of the couch, and focuses on her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry," she says, again. Peeta wishes she was closer. Everything seemed easier when she was touching him.

"Don't be, it's my fault. You were upset. I should have thought about how it would look."

"You're not mad?" she asks, peeping up at him. He shrugs.

"Not at you. At the fact that the whole district is gossiping about us, yeah, a little." His shoulders hunch a bit more.

"About that, I may have, sort of confirmed it." Peeta feels his mouth drop open. "It was an accident, I swear. But Gale got me so mad, and now, I think he's probably out drinking and shooting his mouth off."

"You told Gale Hawthorne that you and I are a couple." Because he has to confirm it. Katniss crosses her arms and scowls at him, but his mouth keeps going "because I kind of thought you and him, were together."

"Not you too! No! Why does everyone think that?" Peeta shrugs, unwilling to explain how closely he's watched her over the years. But she doesn't seem to be waiting for a reply. "I don't know why anyone even cares what you and I are doing anyway, with The Games." Peeta shivers. He's glad he's finally free, but still, twenty three kids are going to die. And one of them will probably be Madge Undersee.

"Do you think she has a chance?"

"I hope so." Katniss slides closer and leans her head on his shoulder. "She's got a better chance than most people think."

"You said that before." And does she know what she's doing, leaning into him and seeking comfort again? He hesitantly slides his arm behind her back, and she snuggles into him even further. Why him? Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that he would be touching her like this, only hours after their first conversation. And then the guilty feeling that he's using the situation starts to nag at him.

Peeta pulls away from her and turns so he can see her face. "We need to talk about this. The gossip isn't going to go away, particularly if you said stuff that made it all sound true." She looks away, and Peeta knows he's making her uncomfortable. He's not feeling too good himself. So the next part comes out in a rush. "I really like you, but this is totally the wrong time, and if we keep going like this we won't have any choice, they'll make us get married, you know that." He's surprised her, she looks at him with wide eyes. Tomas was right, she hasn't thought it through at all.

"It would be bad if they made you marry me." She's nodding, but her mouth is turning down, and Peeta curses himself.

"No!" Of course her thoughts went there, that's probably what half the gossips are muttering. "I do, I mean, I want to date you and probably marry you, but I want to do that because we decide to, not because the whole town thinks you're pregnant or something. Which is what they'll be saying if anyone saw you climb in my window." She leaps to her feet and goes to the window, as if she can tell, now, whether someone was watching earlier.

"So what are you saying? Do you want me to stay away from you?" Peeta shakes his head. Her staying away is the last thing he wants. Not now that she's finally talking to him. But would it be best?

"I have no idea what to do, I want to help, and I really do like you, but, Madge..." how can she think of anything else objectively? Katniss turns to look at him, her eyes swimming. "Right now doesn't seem like the time to be even talking about this, but, stuff happened, and we have to. Why did you hold my hand anyway?" Katniss' eyes flick away again.

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking. I just, did." He head drops down, and she looks exhausted. "I need to think, I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow, if I can get an extra squirrel." She looks at him for a moment, and then gestures toward the stairs. "Which would be the best way for me to leave?"

When she's gone Peeta slumps down onto the couch. It went well. It did. She didn't immediately reject him, or act creeped out. She didn't seem to be planning on ignoring him or pretending he doesn't exist. It's a good start. Tomas was right about everything, and Peeta is glad he finally had the courage to just tell her how he feels, but he still can't shake the feeling that he's lost something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this may not be what you expected, I hope you like the turn this is taking though. The book never addresses the issue of Peeta initially lying to Katniss about his feelings, but I always found that a bit worrisome. Lucky here we have his deeper thinking brother to slap him into line. What do you think?


	4. Prentend

 

Katniss gives up on sleep a long time before dawn, and quietly slips out of the house, heading for the woods. She would be waking now anyway, she has a lot of work to do and no one to help. She checks the snare line first, as it always yields the most when Gale has personally reset them, and today is no exception. Then she takes up one of her favorite spots and waits for game to cross her path.

She thought she could clear her head out here in the peace and silence, but sitting here she has too much time to think, and all she can think about is Madge. She remembers the first time she had led Madge into the woods.

 

 

_It had been a few weeks after the seventy fourth reaping, and Gale had signed on at the mines immediately after. It had been hard and lonely hunting alone, but Katniss was making the best of it. She had gone to the Mayor's back door to trade, and Madge had answered. When she had understood why Gale wasn't there, her eyes had widened, and she had smiled._  
  
_The next morning, when Katniss left her house before dawn, she had found Madge waiting on her front porch, sturdy boots on her feet, and a slingshot sticking out of the back pocket of her pants. Katniss had been so shocked she had let Madge follow her under the fence. It turned out that Madge had wanted to come out to the woods for years. She'd even been practicing with a slingshot she'd made. Gale's obvious dislike for her had been the only thing holding her back._  
  
_Katniss hadn't known what to think. At that point Madge had been someone she ate lunch with and talked to occasionally. But she'd been lonely and stressed about keeping everyone fed, and before she knew it Madge had wormed her way into her life._

_It turned out that all those lunch periods they had spent together had meant something to the other girl.  It turned out that Madge had wanted to be her friend, a real friend, all along.  Outside the fence, freed from the constraints of being the perfect daughter of the Mayor, Katniss got to know the person who was hidden from everyone.  She was kind, and thoughtful, and a pretty decent shot._

_Katniss had thought that Madge would get tired of the predawn treks once winter set in, but she had reliably shown up in even the most miserable of weather.  And though Katniss missed Gale, and looked forward to their Sundays together, Madge offered her something different, a female friendship, that filled up a place in her that she hadn’t even known was empty._

 

 

She’d asked once, why Madge was doing this. For her it was a matter of survival, serious and necessary. For Madge it was what, a hobby? She'd rolled her eyes when Madge claimed it was about survival for her too, because, what if she got reaped? Katniss feels ashamed now for how dismissive she was. It had just seemed so unlikely that the privileged princess of the district could be reaped. But she's bitterly glad for the education she's given her friend over the last two years. 

She wishes Madge was here now, not just because it would mean she’s safe, but because Katniss feels hopelessly out of her depth in dealing with Gale and Peeta.  Who would’ve thought that ‘never been kissed’ Katniss would have two boys wanting her at the same time.  She can imagine Madge smirking and shaking her head at that.  Because she’d asked her about her ‘admirer’ every time she caught Peeta staring.  

Because of Madge's teasing, his confession last night hadn’t been entirely surprising.  Katniss had kind of known, and ignored, the reason he was taking care of her yesterday.  A small selfish part of her almost wishes she hadn’t heard the gossip, that he hadn’t said anything.  So she could keep ignoring it.  Because now she has to deal with it.  It feels so unfair that that after years of doing nothing but staring longingly, Peeta has to tell her this now.  

It’s her own fault.  Katniss knows that.  She was the one that reached for him, and then was unable to let go.  But still, she avoids going to the bakery, as she goes around town making trades.  By mid-morning she’s left with a pair of squirrels and one regular buyer left, so she reluctantly knocks on Peeta’s back door.

For some reason she’s surprised when it’s his brother who opens the door.  Had she been hoping that Peeta was hovering, waiting for her?  Tomas smiles shyly and swings the door wider, gesturing her inside.  Katniss peers around him suspiciously.  She’s never been invited inside before, and she’s not sure she wants to be today.  

“Don’t worry,” he glances away, cheeks turning pink, “it’s safe, no parents.  He’s back there.”  Tomas points to the back of the room where Peeta is working at a high table.  Katniss reluctantly goes over.  He looks up and gives her a sweet smile.  

“Hey, I can’t stop here, but if you want to sit we can talk while I work.”  Katniss watches curiously as he presses and rolls and brushes, and magically turns a blank white ball into a pink flower.

“I can come back later, I don’t want to interrupt,” any excuse to put off talking to him, particularly since she doesn’t know what to say.  But he gives her a pleading look.

“Please?  Wondering what you’re thinking is far more distracting than talking to you.”

She climbs onto the stool beside him.  She can’t think of where to start, so she just watches him work.  His hands are large, blunt, and covered with rippled scars that run up onto his powerful forearms, that they are capable of such delicate work amazes her.  She remembers the feel of them rubbing across her back, and wishes he was touching her now.  Everything seemed simpler when they were touching.  

“What’re you making?” she asks.  She has to say something, and somehow she can’t get words out about the other stuff.

“It’s a toasting cake.  Some people are in rather a rush after the reaping.  This couple is getting married today, and having their toasting tonight, so, gotta get it finished.”  It must be a merchant couple.  Seam people hold their toasting parties on Sundays, the only day off from the mines.

“Oh.  Well you’re good at it.”  He shrugs a little.

“It’s no big deal.”

“Don’t say that,” his brother calls from the other side of the bakery, “being able to do those cakes is the only reason we keep you around.  And I’ve heard girls like a guy with steady work.”  Peeta turns so red he looks like he’s going to combust.  Katniss feels her face growing warm, she’s not sure if she’s embarrassed for him or herself.

“Have you thought about what I said?”  He finally asks, speaking more softly.  Katniss looks up to see his eyes watching her, like they’re always watching.

“Why are you always staring at me?” she demands, feeling an immediate surge of annoyance, “why are you always looking at me and never talking?”  He looks down quickly.

“You know why,” is all he says.  Which just annoys her more.

“No, I don’t know why, otherwise I wouldn’t be asking.  Do you think I have some magic ability to know what’s inside your head?  I don’t!  I don’t know why boys do half the stupid things they do.  I’ve never been on a date, never been kissed, before yesterday,” his head shoots back up at that, his eyes wide, “and I’m supposed to be deciding, what? If I want to marry you? I don’t even know you.  I don’t know what to do, and nothing you say makes sense, and,” Katniss feels tears starting to well in her eyes, “and all I want to do is talk to Madge, but she’s about to go to her death, so just tell me what you want from me.”

Peeta looks back down at his hands, and his shoulders hunch. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be pushing you.  I mostly want to be your friend, and then, maybe at some point you’ll want to date me, or not, whatever you decide.  Would that,...would that be okay?”

“Yes!  Of course.  But, what about all that stuff you said last night, about everyone watching us, and how we’ll have to get married?”  They stare at each other glumly.  

“You have any ideas Tom?” Peeta calls out. “I know you’re still listening.”  Tomas comes to stand on the other side of the work table. He shuffles his feet and he’s still refusing to meet Katniss’ eyes.

“Um, yeah?  Kind of.”

 

___________________________________

 

  
Her mother is waiting at the table when she gets home.  Katniss has been dreading facing her.  It’s almost as bad as that time last year when she sat Katniss and Madge down to explain how to know when they were fertile, and how to use that knowledge to prevent pregnancy.  Nothing could top the embarrassment of that little chat.  At least this conversation shouldn’t involve any graphic descriptions of bodily functions.  Probably.  When you live in a healer’s household you can never be completely sure.

“It’s not what you think, and whatever you’ve heard is wrong.”  Katniss begins.  Her mother puts a cup in front of her and calmly pours the mint tea.  

“So you’re saying you haven’t been secretly carrying on with both Peeta Mellark and Gale Hawthorne for months now?”  Katniss hides her face in her hands.  

“Is that what they’re saying now?”  Her mother nods.

“Among other things.”  She doesn’t look angry, just a little sad.

“Will you tell me Katniss?  I know you don’t need my permission to date any number of boys, but can you tell me the truth? At the very least I’d like to be able to refute the things that are being said.”  It’s hard to meet her eyes, she was so patient last night, not demanding answers, and then Katniss had escaped to the woods, and the bakery, forgetting her mother and sister would be getting quizzed by all the gossipy busybodies.  People have probably been casually ‘dropping by’ all day.

So Katniss tells her the whole stupid story.  Starting with Gale’s uncomfortable proposal all the way to what she’d discussed with Peeta and Tomas an hour ago.

“So the big plan is to ‘pretend’ to date Peeta?” Mrs. Everdeen finally asks, with a half smile.  It sounds foolish when she says it like that.  Katniss slouches down in her chair, crossing her arms.  

“If you have a better idea, please, tell me.  But we thought it would look worse if I stayed away from him, then they’d all be saying he got what he wanted and dumped me.”  Her mother shakes her head, still smiling slightly.

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea, exactly,” she pauses.  “So, we’re going to dinner tonight at the bakery?” Katniss doesn’t know what to make of the sudden change of topic, but she nods.  She didn’t want to watch the tribute parade alone, and it seemed like a bad idea to expose her reactions in the general viewing in the square.  What if, as Tomas had so embarrassingly put it, she can’t resist climbing all over Peeta again?  So Peeta had suggested bringing her mother and sister to the bakery to eat and watch with himself and Tomas.  It felt safer.

“We should bring a gift, to thank them for dinner.” her mother continues.  Katniss scowls.  She doesn’t need to be reminded of how much she owes Peeta Mellark.

“I gave them the squirrels for free.”  Her mother gives her a placid smile.  

“Well since we’ll be eating that too, perhaps they might like something else?  Can you think of anything the boys might like?”  Katniss forces herself to think, and she remembers the scars on Peeta’s hands.

“Maybe some burn salve?” her mother smiles proudly and Katniss feels a little manipulated.  She still accepts the small jar, but only because it will help Peeta.  He mother pats her head, making her feel even more irritated.  “I’m looking forward to meeting the boy who finally caught your attention.”  And that, that, sounds downright ominous.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time without updates, I know, but it should be improved now. Hope this makes up for the wait.

**Author's Note:**

> You know you're losing it when you start writing fan fiction based on your own fan fiction. But I love Tomas too much to leave him in just one story. What do you think of pairing him with Madge? I'll be bringing a bit of that in in the next few chapters of Extraneous. 
> 
> And sorry to all my loyal readers for such a long wait between posts. I've gotten involved in a group on Tumblr that's leading me down a wrong path. (you should check them out, Everlarkian Archives). I hope this little drabble tides you over, and I will be posting something long (13 000 words long) on Thursday as part of a challenge for the aforementioned corrupting Tumblr group, then hopefully I'll be back to my regularly scheduled updates.


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